Home. There are so many images that come to mind with that word. Having just come off vacation, the immediate words in my head are, safety, normalcy, rest, and peace (of course, disaster area follows quickly behind thanks to my two little whirlwinds).
I was blessed with a great home life growing up. Sure, there was some teenage angst involved, but just below the surface, I always knew how good I had it. My parents did that for me. We had a very liberal upbringing (which is another story). Not only were we encouraged to be open minded, but always knew that no matter what, we always had place to call home. My grandmother fed whole generations at her kitchen table; not only her immediate family, but all the extended family that lived near by, AND all of their friends who just happened to show up around dinner time. Even if she didn't like you, she would have given her last dollar if you needed it. Those were my role models, and I was very blessed.
"So what's your point?", you may ask. Well, as it happens to everyone, my home changed once I graduated from high school and went to college. I never really considered my little dorm room to be 'home', but after my freshman year, I bought a house that became 'home' to all of my friends from high school who attended the same university. We would even have 'family' dinners every week or two.
Fast forward a few years and one marriage certificate later. Mike and I lived in a tiny little two room apartment while he finished his last year of seminary. Unless you've experience married student housing for yourself, it's hard to describe. We lived on so little, but everyone else was in the same boat. I won't go so far as to say we didn't notice we were broke college students, but living with a dozen other couples in the same situation made everything bearable. And it felt like home.
The subject of 'home' is a touchy one amongst clergy families. The reason is because most of us don't own the home we live in. In case you are new to the workings of the Methodist Church, allow me to enlighten you. As a full time ordained elder, any United Methodist Church is required to provide either housing or a housing allowance to each position they offer (whether it is one pastor, or a senior and associate pastor, etc.). Most churches provide parsonages, although some are now providing allowances. There are certain minimum standards that a parsonage for a full elder is required to have, but otherwise, parsonages differ greatly. Every time a clergy family moves, they experience a mixture of anticipation and trepidation over what their next home will be like. In the 'olden days', the parsonage was FULLY furnished, including everything down to the linens, silverware, and pictures on the wall. These days, with more and more pastors coming to ordination as a second career, married to people who also led their own lives before ministry, mostly its just the furniture that is provided. Depending on which church a pastor is assigned, the parsonage could be considered the private home of the clergy family, or the public property of the church, with parsonage committees having their own keys and making unannounced visits whenever they feel like popping by. In the back of our minds, we are always conscious of living in a house that doesn't belong to us, using furniture that has been used and will be used by others. I'm not saying it is a bad thing (at least for us it hasn't been). But I thank God every day that we have only been in churches with wonderful people who aren't so controlling as to make sure that each painting stays where it has been for the past fifty years (trust me, it happens!).
So for clergy families, and all the other families who move frequently for whatever reason, 'home' must mean more than just a house. As I think about when my parents used to say "you'll always have a home with us", maybe they weren't talking about just a house. Maybe they were talking about something more special. And maybe when God calls us home, it isn't just a place either.
Below is a song very close to my heart about what 'home' really is. I hope you'll watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zI3lXSOt3c
No comments:
Post a Comment