The Edmondson Montage: Mental Break, Take One

My posts have been rather serious lately, so this one is going to try and lighten things up. In my Wednesday night Bible Study recently, we were talking about words of wisdom we learned from our parents/family. Well, this will be the abridged version, but here are some little sayings that my friends on Facebook contributed. Let me know if you need clarification (this is for all you Yanks...).

‎1. "One person's normal is another person's weird."
2. "One person's trash is another person's treasure.

3. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat.

4. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

5. "I will see you later" says the blind man to his deaf wife.

6. No such thing as a little bit pregnant.

7. If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its butt.

8. If Ifs and buts were candy and nuts we'd wll have a merry Christmas!

9. The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

10. You can't throw mud on someone else without getting your own hand dirty.

11. This one is for my dad:
   The only two things you need in life are WD-40 and duct tape.
   If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40.
   If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

12. Does absence makes the heart grow fonder or out of sight out of mind?

13. Marry in haste, repent in leisure

14. Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil

15. That's how the cow ate the cabbage

16. You can catch more files with honey than with vinegar

17. Watch out when you're getting all you want. Fattened hogs ain't in luck.

18. If you have to eat dirt, eat clean dirt.

19. The rooster makes more racket than the hen that laid the egg.

20. Don't spoil Saturday night by counting the time to Monday morning

21. Never trust a man too far who stays mad through Christmas week.

22. Success is relative—the greater the success, the more relatives.

23. If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.