Forgive and Forget

Is it possible to forgive and forget? Yes and no. For me, at least, it all depends on the situation.

I am very good at forgiveness and trust. Call them gifts, call them curses, I have called them both at one point or another. For example, as in most marriages, there is strife and disagreement. When my husband and I have words and create a resolution, I promptly forget about it. *OR* I ask myself if something he does that upsets me is worth fighting about...and usually the answer is no. Unfortunately, the next time the same situation happens, I remember that something like that came up six months ago, but since I let it go, I can't bring up the exact infraction to use to my benefit. ARGH! :)

Other times, though, I have a different situation on my hands. There are some instances where I have to repeatedly forgive someone who has hurt me or someone I love, daily, for months, if not years. And sometimes I don't WANT to forget. That old mantra, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me again, shame on me" blares in my head like a siren. Forgiveness is not an excuse for apathy. We should definitely learn from our mistakes.

There are a few people in my life who are very dear to me and who can't stand each other. And because I love them all, I get stuck in the middle. Trying to mediate, trying to explain why these people behave this way and what that person who said things that were construed as insulting probably meant it another way. I find it hard to convince people who don't care why they SHOULD care. And I don't want to pull the "do it for me" card, because what does that really fix? They love complaining about everyone else, but make no efforts to make things better. They say that the other parties don't want to reconcile, but why would they when they don't even know they've given offense? Human nature is a twisted and complex thing, and people unwilling to make the effort to understand leave me feeling like Jeremiah, ripping his clothes and throwing ash on his head, weeping and praying for a group of people who could care less.

So what is the solution? *I* forgive *them*. Daily. And I ask forgiveness for myself for all the hard feelings and resentments I have towards them. And I pray for them, because in the end, that is all one person can do for another who doesn't think anything is wrong with them, it's everyone else.