My life seems so full of contradictions some times. For example. I have never considered myself a shopper. Maybe it's because I never have any 'blow money' to go shopping with, and if I do have extra money, I usually end up spending it on someone else, or for the house, just about anything but for myself. Well, maybe to be more specific, I love to shop, I just hate shopping.
What's the difference, you may ask? Well, shopping, for me, has a connotation of leisure time and enjoyment, hours perusing racks of clothes, looking for things that I like but don't really need. When I shop, however, it is with a purpose in mind (and usually a list!). The reason, dear friends, is because I am an impulse buyer. And I learned a long time ago how bad that was for my pocketbook. So I when I go shopping (i.e., going along with someone else to enjoy someone's company), and I see something I like, I ask myself if this item is something that I really need, and 99% of the time, the answer is NOPE! And unless it is an unbelievable good deal on something I have been thinking about buying, or if it is a somewhat good deal offered somewhere I'm not likely to revisit any time soon, I decide to give it the 24 hour test...if after 24 hours I still want it, then I go back and buy it. It doesn't matter if it is a cute pair of skidders at the mall or a new brand of organic chips at the grocery store. If it isn't on my list, I don't get it.
I am trying to apply this to other aspects of my life, too. I am part of a really great women's bible study group at our church on Wednesday nights. We have been talking about how to be a good friend. Normally I try to avoid confrontation like the plague, and one of my spiritual strengths is forgiveness. But I am also apt to let a word or gesture fester inside until I am about ready to burst with frustration/anger. So I have decided to put my shopping rules into play in my relationships. If a friend or even acquaintance says something that bothers me, I will do what I normally do and let it go for a period of time (maybe a few days up to a week). If at the end of that time it still bothers me, I will address the situation, as to not let things build up and fester. I'll let you know how this experiment works, and if any of you sweet friends out there are at the receiving end, just know that it's because I value our friendship and I would hope you would do the same for me!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Fast (and quick!) update
Well, the second week of my Lenten fast is almost over. At times I've wondered at my sanity. But beginning yesterday, I am starting to feel okay with it. I mean, really okay. I had a rough patch a few days ago. I must have been going through caffeine withdrawal or something. I was in a really foul mood (sorry Mike!). The lack of caffeine and sugar has made me really tired, but finally, today, I think my body is adjusting. I actually feel good, physically and mentally. It is 4:45pm and I don't feel like I need a nap! And most amazingly, I wasn't starving during my classes today (I usually don't eat lunch until around 2:30 on the days I have class). So starting tomorrow, I am going to try and reorganize my alone time. At night, I will be studying (which I have dropped the ball on lately), and in the morning I will be waking up early to start my day right with God. So, the fast continues. How is your Lent progressing?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
No Place Like Home
Home. There are so many images that come to mind with that word. Having just come off vacation, the immediate words in my head are, safety, normalcy, rest, and peace (of course, disaster area follows quickly behind thanks to my two little whirlwinds).
I was blessed with a great home life growing up. Sure, there was some teenage angst involved, but just below the surface, I always knew how good I had it. My parents did that for me. We had a very liberal upbringing (which is another story). Not only were we encouraged to be open minded, but always knew that no matter what, we always had place to call home. My grandmother fed whole generations at her kitchen table; not only her immediate family, but all the extended family that lived near by, AND all of their friends who just happened to show up around dinner time. Even if she didn't like you, she would have given her last dollar if you needed it. Those were my role models, and I was very blessed.
"So what's your point?", you may ask. Well, as it happens to everyone, my home changed once I graduated from high school and went to college. I never really considered my little dorm room to be 'home', but after my freshman year, I bought a house that became 'home' to all of my friends from high school who attended the same university. We would even have 'family' dinners every week or two.
Fast forward a few years and one marriage certificate later. Mike and I lived in a tiny little two room apartment while he finished his last year of seminary. Unless you've experience married student housing for yourself, it's hard to describe. We lived on so little, but everyone else was in the same boat. I won't go so far as to say we didn't notice we were broke college students, but living with a dozen other couples in the same situation made everything bearable. And it felt like home.
The subject of 'home' is a touchy one amongst clergy families. The reason is because most of us don't own the home we live in. In case you are new to the workings of the Methodist Church, allow me to enlighten you. As a full time ordained elder, any United Methodist Church is required to provide either housing or a housing allowance to each position they offer (whether it is one pastor, or a senior and associate pastor, etc.). Most churches provide parsonages, although some are now providing allowances. There are certain minimum standards that a parsonage for a full elder is required to have, but otherwise, parsonages differ greatly. Every time a clergy family moves, they experience a mixture of anticipation and trepidation over what their next home will be like. In the 'olden days', the parsonage was FULLY furnished, including everything down to the linens, silverware, and pictures on the wall. These days, with more and more pastors coming to ordination as a second career, married to people who also led their own lives before ministry, mostly its just the furniture that is provided. Depending on which church a pastor is assigned, the parsonage could be considered the private home of the clergy family, or the public property of the church, with parsonage committees having their own keys and making unannounced visits whenever they feel like popping by. In the back of our minds, we are always conscious of living in a house that doesn't belong to us, using furniture that has been used and will be used by others. I'm not saying it is a bad thing (at least for us it hasn't been). But I thank God every day that we have only been in churches with wonderful people who aren't so controlling as to make sure that each painting stays where it has been for the past fifty years (trust me, it happens!).
So for clergy families, and all the other families who move frequently for whatever reason, 'home' must mean more than just a house. As I think about when my parents used to say "you'll always have a home with us", maybe they weren't talking about just a house. Maybe they were talking about something more special. And maybe when God calls us home, it isn't just a place either.
Below is a song very close to my heart about what 'home' really is. I hope you'll watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zI3lXSOt3c
I was blessed with a great home life growing up. Sure, there was some teenage angst involved, but just below the surface, I always knew how good I had it. My parents did that for me. We had a very liberal upbringing (which is another story). Not only were we encouraged to be open minded, but always knew that no matter what, we always had place to call home. My grandmother fed whole generations at her kitchen table; not only her immediate family, but all the extended family that lived near by, AND all of their friends who just happened to show up around dinner time. Even if she didn't like you, she would have given her last dollar if you needed it. Those were my role models, and I was very blessed.
"So what's your point?", you may ask. Well, as it happens to everyone, my home changed once I graduated from high school and went to college. I never really considered my little dorm room to be 'home', but after my freshman year, I bought a house that became 'home' to all of my friends from high school who attended the same university. We would even have 'family' dinners every week or two.
Fast forward a few years and one marriage certificate later. Mike and I lived in a tiny little two room apartment while he finished his last year of seminary. Unless you've experience married student housing for yourself, it's hard to describe. We lived on so little, but everyone else was in the same boat. I won't go so far as to say we didn't notice we were broke college students, but living with a dozen other couples in the same situation made everything bearable. And it felt like home.
The subject of 'home' is a touchy one amongst clergy families. The reason is because most of us don't own the home we live in. In case you are new to the workings of the Methodist Church, allow me to enlighten you. As a full time ordained elder, any United Methodist Church is required to provide either housing or a housing allowance to each position they offer (whether it is one pastor, or a senior and associate pastor, etc.). Most churches provide parsonages, although some are now providing allowances. There are certain minimum standards that a parsonage for a full elder is required to have, but otherwise, parsonages differ greatly. Every time a clergy family moves, they experience a mixture of anticipation and trepidation over what their next home will be like. In the 'olden days', the parsonage was FULLY furnished, including everything down to the linens, silverware, and pictures on the wall. These days, with more and more pastors coming to ordination as a second career, married to people who also led their own lives before ministry, mostly its just the furniture that is provided. Depending on which church a pastor is assigned, the parsonage could be considered the private home of the clergy family, or the public property of the church, with parsonage committees having their own keys and making unannounced visits whenever they feel like popping by. In the back of our minds, we are always conscious of living in a house that doesn't belong to us, using furniture that has been used and will be used by others. I'm not saying it is a bad thing (at least for us it hasn't been). But I thank God every day that we have only been in churches with wonderful people who aren't so controlling as to make sure that each painting stays where it has been for the past fifty years (trust me, it happens!).
So for clergy families, and all the other families who move frequently for whatever reason, 'home' must mean more than just a house. As I think about when my parents used to say "you'll always have a home with us", maybe they weren't talking about just a house. Maybe they were talking about something more special. And maybe when God calls us home, it isn't just a place either.
Below is a song very close to my heart about what 'home' really is. I hope you'll watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zI3lXSOt3c
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Beauty From Ashes
Today marks the first day of my favorite time of year. For most people, Ash Wednesday is rather depressing after the gaiety of Christmas and the Mardi Gras season. But being the closet introvert that I am, I see rest, relaxation, and reflection, as well as hope that dwells in the deepest core of the most heinous act mankind has ever committed. Most people view the season of Lent in a self sacrificing, torturous kind of way. You hear people grumbling about giving up this and that, but what is the point of giving something up just for the sake of doing it? Shouldn't it mean something? In the general scheme of things, the definition of sacrifice varies from person to person. So when we talk about giving up something for Lent, it should be something intensely personal. And no, it isn't necessary to publicize our decision. Ultimately it rests between us and God, anyway. Besides ourselves, God is the only one who knows if we are successful in our sacrifice, and what our hearts are like while we are making this journey.
For myself, in a previous post I had rambled about doing a Daniel Fast. Well, I thought about it and admitted to myself that it most likely wasn't going to happen. Even though fasting is not the same as dieting, I have been on enough diets to know my limitations where food is concerned. What I sacrifice should affect my life, yes, but it also shouldn't affect anyone else's, and if I were to do the Daniel Fast right now, it would definitely affect my family for the worst. I'm not saying I will never do this fast, but under current circumstances a drastic change such as this is not the best thing for my family. So I have decided to go the 'tame' route and fast from meat and refined sugar. This is still quite a sacrifice, especially as I think of how frequently I consume these products! Hopefully God will use my sacrifice to help me focus on satisfying my soul instead of satisfying my craving for a filet mignon. And being inspired by Pastor Robert at the Ash Wednesday service tonight, I will be sacrificing something else...but that is between me and God. Let this be a time of healing, reflection, and letting go in preparation for the darkest AND brightest time of our Christian year. God bless you and keep you.
For myself, in a previous post I had rambled about doing a Daniel Fast. Well, I thought about it and admitted to myself that it most likely wasn't going to happen. Even though fasting is not the same as dieting, I have been on enough diets to know my limitations where food is concerned. What I sacrifice should affect my life, yes, but it also shouldn't affect anyone else's, and if I were to do the Daniel Fast right now, it would definitely affect my family for the worst. I'm not saying I will never do this fast, but under current circumstances a drastic change such as this is not the best thing for my family. So I have decided to go the 'tame' route and fast from meat and refined sugar. This is still quite a sacrifice, especially as I think of how frequently I consume these products! Hopefully God will use my sacrifice to help me focus on satisfying my soul instead of satisfying my craving for a filet mignon. And being inspired by Pastor Robert at the Ash Wednesday service tonight, I will be sacrificing something else...but that is between me and God. Let this be a time of healing, reflection, and letting go in preparation for the darkest AND brightest time of our Christian year. God bless you and keep you.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
One Wrong Turn
Have you ever been driving, while allowing your mind to wander, and suddenly realized that you have no idea where you are or how you got there? That happened to me several times today. A lot has been going on in the Casa de Edmondson, and that topped off with school really had me in a tizzy today.
I left for school and was headed to the WalMart in Calera. TWICE I found myself slightly panicky because I didn't know if I had missed a turn or not. Then, on the way back, I made a wrong turn as I was coming into town and found myself at the City Park. And do you know what? It was totally a God thing. It was so green and peaceful, that I parked my car and sat for a moment, and contemplated God's creation.
Now, if you don't know already, I have a degree in Horticulture/Landscape Design. So I am literally one of these people who likes to smell the proverbial roses. But I realized today that I haven't been doing that lately. This is my favorite time of year, when most of my favorite plants are in bloom...tulips, daffodils, redbuds, chinese fringe, cherry trees, tulip magnolias, and yes even those overused Bradford pears. And I have hardly spared a glance. So tonight, I am thanking God for that one wrong turn that gave me back some perspective about my life and where it is heading, and about how I need to slow down every once in a while. So tomorrow when my kids want to play in the dirt and pick berries off bushes and throw them back, I'm going to let them. And I'll probably join them!
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