Inlaws and Outlaws

We just recently had a weekend visit from my inlaws. The live pretty far away, so we only get to see them a few times a year. I have some friends who are happy to see their inlaws even less than that, but I like my inlaws. It is probably part of my stubborness, to be honest. 'Inlaw' is almost a dirty word in our society. Thanks to television we all have preconcieved notions of the dreaded relationship with our spouse's family. I hate preconcieved notions like that, so when I got married I was determined to prove the stereotype wrong, because, dear friends, it takes two to make a relationship. Kindness goes a long way in creating the foundation for a relationship, even though it may take years to build the foundation!

I was reading in the book of Ruth this morning. What an amazing woman Ruth was. Many books and sermons have been written about her and her faithfulness. But what about Naomi? What kind of amazing mother-in-law must she have been to have inspired such devotion in both her daughters-in-law? I truly want to know this, because I have two children and daily I pray for the people they will eventually marry. I pray that they are God fearing and strong of character, and I pray that they will let me love them like I love my own children. Because right there in the Bible it says that when a man and woman marry, two shall become one. Some women think that no one will be good enough for their children to marry. We I say pooh on that! If your child loves someone, then YOU BE the example. Don't expect your child's spouse to understand how your family works, and don't expect your child to explain it. Treat them with the respect you would show a new friend, instead of how you treat your own child (as if they were still 10 years old and in need of a good lecture). Remember- this person will contribute to half the DNA your grandchild will carry, and will contribute much to the type of person your grandchild will become. Don't wait until the last moment to make these decisions. Decide now the kind of inlaw you want to be. It is never too late to start over, and it is never too early to make resolutions. And whenever you feel discouraged, read the book of Ruth and ask yourself if your child's spouse would ever feel that way about you, and if you answer 'no', then ask yourself 'why not?'.

The Tide Turns...And The Eagle Soars

So, it's football season. FINALLY! Here in the South, the anticipation of the next football season begins the day after the National Championship is played (for those who have a stake in it), or at least the day after the last game played. It builds until the air is thick with expectation. Birthday parties and vacations are planned around when Bama will be in town, or where Auburn is traveling away. I think it is so great that you can become instant friends with someone you've never met, just because you have a favorite team in common.

But do you know my favorite team? Not Auburn (I know, shocker!). It isn't even a sports group at all. It is the tall red headed guy and two sweet little miracles that I get to come home to every day. At various times we are all coaches and players ( like when Bill is telling me the correct way to drive a toy train :). I think parents lose something in the relationship with their children when they stop thinking that they have nothing to learn from their kids. The biggest thing kids teach us is how to love. LOVE. HUG. KISS. LAUGH. What is more important in life than knowing how to do these things? A family may have a leader, but a successful family's leader knows when to lead, and when to learn.

I thought when I started my new job that I would be miserable in the fact that I would miss my kids too much. But although I DO miss my kids, the time I have with them is so much sweeter! I guess it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I just have to make sure that absence doesn't overshadow the quality time. A time for everything in it's season....I hope your times are as sweet as mine!

Little Tidbits

‎"A true giver is born with their hands open, as well as their heart; and though there may be times when their hands are empty, their heart is always full, and can give things out of that-warm things, kind things, sweet things-help and comfort and laughter-and sometimes , kind laughter is the best help of all." -A Little Princess

What is Addiction?

Hello, my name is Sharon Edmondson, and I am addicted to Facebook. Not every aspect of facebook, but definitely the games. Namely Farmville, Frontierville, and Gardens of Time.

I know what you may be thinking. "Really? That's a little weak when you consider worse problems like alcoholism, drug use, pornography...". Well I'm not so sure. In my humble opinion, the Christian definition of addiction is anything that takes your focus continually away from God. I would like to add that it is anything that takes the focus off anything in your life that should be more important, like your job or your family. And agree with me or not, even your job or family can become an addiction if it comes between you and your relationship with God. So do I have a problem with addiction? GUILTY!

I frequently allow the daily grind to distract me from developing my relationship with our Lord and Creator. I can't even squeeze thirty minutes a day to spare for reflection and devotion? There is something wrong with this picture. Yes, I have small children that seem to consume my every waking moment, but what if I change my perception about what devotion time is? Why couldn't I spend those thirty minutes with my kids, talking and teaching about God, and praying with them? Isn't that what we as parents are charged with when God entrusts them into our care?

As for Facebook, I don't think it is evil. It is inanimate. It has no power that we don't give it, just like money. Used wisely, it is a wonderful way to stay connected and be supportive. I have been blessed many times over by this tool. As for the many hours spent per week on the games, I can do without that for a while until I reset my priorities. Maybe I can even use some of that spare time to clean the house! Then again...

Dog Days

How is it that Summer has arrived so quickly? Really, 100 degrees and it is barely June. I feel like I haven't seen the summer sun in years. Actually, I haven't really enjoyed it since I was expecting Bill five years ago. I have been so terrified of getting the kids out in the heat and UVA/UVB's! Oh to be ignorant of those things like we were as young'uns! I know our generation is finally learning from the mistakes of those past about sun worshipping, and hopefully our children will reap the health benefits, but rolling around on a beach towel burning ourselves to crisps are some of my fondest memories growing up. We LIVED for those dog days of summer where there was nothing we could do but lie around and be lazy, soaking up rays! Maybe my outlook will change once my kids are old enough to swim by themselves with minimal supervision. But until those days come, we will be holed up in our air conditioned house taking siestas and/or hibernating for the ninety days or so that we call the dog days of summer. Why don't ya'll come over and we'll have a carpet picnic. No bugs, I promise!

Time Flies

Wow, have I been a slacker with my blog. Here is the abridged version of my life the past month:

DD stomach virus. Then I get it. Bday & Mom day present= throwing  back out twice. Final exams in which prescription drugs play a hand. Beach trip with Hand, Foot, Mouth. Anniversary spent on the road home. DD gets stomach virus again. Then I get it. Physical Therapy.

Thus ends the 2010-2011 school year. Praying for patience as I wait to hear from Pharmacy school. Praying for patience with my kids as we are all thrown together all summer. Now that DS is out of preschool, he is asking to go every day (this never happened when he COULD have gone!). A friend and I have decided that our kids need go to summer school, so we will be conducting preschool two days a week, and exercising while they are having their playground time. As a matter of fact, exercise and diet are on my Summer Resolution List. Especially with my current back problems. I am really down the the "must do" point. I have found a really great website with a huge database of caloric counts (www.myfitnesspal.com), and am discovering many restaurant chain websites that allow you to customize their menu to get the caloric level you need (panera has a great app!). Who knew?

My other goal is to get my house in order. Flylady.com will be my constant friend. All this in addition to speech therapy for DS, a night class two days a week for me, and PT makes for a busy summer! A deep thought to leave you with...Consider someone you know who "has it all together". Is it because it's in their nature, or is it survival mode because they are naturally as disorganized as us? Hmmmm...

The Drain

Hello All!

I hope your Lenten season is going better than mine (whose bar is depressingly low right now). I have to say I'm disappointed in my steadfastness. I have done pretty well with my no meat lenten fast, but I don't feel that I have accomplished much with it. I'm actually thinking I may extend parts of my lenten sacrifice through the summer. The Great Deceiver has definitely been at work on my person the last few weeks. I am nearing exams, and we've all had bouts of sickness, meaning that I've had to skip class, stay up late (if not all night), and stress about the wacky process of getting into pharmacy school. I always thought I handled stress very well, but throw a couple of kids into the mix and it is a whole new monster!

At times like these, I am fascinated and in awe of single parents. I know I joke about being a preacher's widow, but at least I know that if I need Mike for something, he is usually right down the road. I have the luxury of going places by myself if I need to, and of telling someone else that it's their responsibility to wash the crayon off the wall and change the light bulbs in the nine foot ceiling. And if I whine and complain enough, I can convince my husband to take the kids somewhere for an hour so I can clean without a small person coming directly behind me like a wrecking ball. This also applies to the parents whose spouses work out of town, or for other reasons can't be as available to help at home.

I catch myself complaining all the time about how tired I am, and how the kids are driving me crazy. But four days a week, I spend two hours with a guy who makes me feel so unjustified in those claims. Geoffrey and his wife met and married at a mission in Nigeria, Africa shortly before he came to the states to attend school. How he landed here, I don't know, but I have known him for the last two years and he has greatly blessed my life. His wife is a nurse, and he is an orderly at Cooper Green Hospital in downtown Birmingham (this is commonly known as the indigent hospital). They have two children, who he really only sees on the weekend because he works all night and drives straight to school once he leaves there. He sleeps in his car in between classes. He maybe has an hour or two to go home and change clothes, eat a little something, before he is back at it again. But he insists on taking Saturday for his family and Sunday for the Lord, who he has no reservations about praising in honest joy and sincerity to whoever will listen. We have spent many hours this semester speaking our love of the Lord rather than studying chemistry as we should have been doing, but I can't regret choosing Him over NMR spectra.

I pray for Geoffrey constantly. That he makes it into medical school, that he and his family are blessed by the sacrifices they have to make. That the Lord watches and protects him and his loved ones when they finally move back to their homeland, and that his children don't resent their parents for moving them from 'their' homeland, because they were both born in the U.S. And I pray that God would allow me to feel one tenth of the passion they feel for spreading the Good News of Jesus, no matter what the cost. So every time I feel so drained, like my joy has been leached out of my life, and I start to feel sorry for myself, I will remember Geoffrey, and cry tears of joy, sorrow, worry, and hallelujah over such a beautiful and inspiration man.

Creative and Disastrous

cre·a·tive

   [kree-ey-tiv]  Show IPA

–adjective

1.

having the quality or power of creating.

2.

resulting from originality of thought, expression, etc.;imaginative: creative writing.

3.

originative; productive (usually followed by of ).

dis·as·trous

   

[dih-zas-truhs, -zah-struhs]  Show IPA

–adjective

1.

causing great distress or injury; ruinous; very unfortunate;calamitous: The rain and cold proved disastrous to hishealth.

2.

Archaic . foreboding disaster.

I think that anyone who has kids can testify that these two words can easily coexist. My son is four and apparently exercising his artistic side. A few days ago, I came home to find my husband outside on the phone, my daughter taking a nap, and my son creating a crayola masterpiece on the living room wall. I instantly bustled him into the car, drove to Publix, and purchased a large box of Magic Erasers. His punishment was not getting a free cookie at the bakery. I thought about making him do the erasing, but even though this is an awesome product, it does take some elbow grease. I used up 1.5 erasers by the time I was done. 

Fast forward to a half hour ago. You may find this very bizarre, but I can go days without going into my son's room. The reason for this is that it is basically his play room (he either sleeps on the couch or with us...which is a whole other story). I don't even remember why I walked in there, because I got distracted by the astonishingly diverse types of media used to draw on his royal blue walls. Included in this artistic display are chalks, colored pencils, crayons, and ink pen. His use of space is surprisingly effective. He has marked every wall, but it is proportional to the wall space...not too little, not too much, no space completely bare. Even the sides of his black tv and his window! WHAT?!?!?!

The poor sweet boy, what am I going to do with him? He is so active, yet so big hearted. He wears his heart on his sleeve. I didn't even yell at him, just spoke sternly to him, and you would have thought he had lost his best friend. He didn't cry or run away, just went and laid down on the couch. He would have been in much bigger trouble had I actually caught him in the act, but it could have been there for days and I never noticed. 

And here's the rub...how do I explain to him that the house we live in isn't ours? We can't just act like we have the right to do whatever we want in the house we live in, because it is owned by the church. Even though we have come so far from the time when clergy families owned nothing but the clothes on their back and a few mementos, and everything else belonged to the parsonage (to include linens and silverware!), Mike and I still view 'our' home as belonging to the congregation and try to take care of it as stewards instead of owners. I think this is one of the huge struggles that children of clergy struggle with. Until we can save enough to buy our own little getaway somewhere, we essentially live off of the charity of others, which is humbling to an adult and fearful to a child or adolescent who has the ability to understand this. 

I didn't mean for this to be such a long post. Just wondering how other people deal with these kind of issues!

It's been a while

Hello friends! If you have been wondering where I've been, don't feel bad. I have wondered that myself lately. I have been gearing up for a big chemistry test being given this Thursday. So between studying and procrastinating in cleaning the house, I've been busy!

Recently I have been contemplating the plight of parents with young children. I love my kids, but sometimes I feel like I am letting Mike and the church at large down due to my lack of participation. I know that modern preachers wives aren't expected to be free church labor anymore, but the truth is, I really WANT to be free church labor. If I had the choice, I could spend all of my free time at the church helping out with various committees. I miss the old days before everything was outsourced, when a group of people would gather every Thursday morning to fold and stuff bulletins. I wish I could spend every night practicing choir and handbells, attending Emmaus reunion groups and Beth Moore bible studies. My kids keep me tied to a nursery/preschool /Sunday school/naptime/bedtime regimen that falls on me to organize and enforce since Mike's schedule is never dependable. I yearn for the days when the kids are older and more self sufficient, and yet I would slow down time in a heartbeat to keep my sweet ones as little and precious as they are now.

I have heard several comments over the years, some directly to me and others from conversations I'm not a part of, about how uninvolved I seem to be with the church, or at least that I'm never around. I don't make apologies for this, even though it does sometimes weigh heavily on my mind. We have been blessed with a growing church that has many needs, most of which are behind the scenes. Ask any mom and she will tell you "I know the kids in (preschool...youth...nursery), but don't ask me who anyone else is!). What an awesome and life consuming thing raising children can be!

I don't want you to think this is a "This is what I do with my time, so butt out" type of rant. Not at all. Especially since most of you who are reading are fully empathetic with my situation. This is more of an "I understand what you are going through" type of post. I am huge on not judging anyone whose shoes I haven't walked in. And I'll be the first to admit that there are some people's shoes that I pray never fit me.

The pastor who conducted our premarital counseling gave us a lot of good advice. One piece of advice was that God should always come first, but sometimes God and church are not the same thing. Our personal relationship with God first, then our family, then our other obligations, including church. If being so busy at church enables you to avoid the trials your family is going through, then I don't personally believe that God honors that time you serve as a sacrifice. Just like using your family as an excuse not to keep your commitments in bible study or worship does not honor God. Family and worship should balance and compliment each other. And as Christian parents, we are obligated to show our children that God is a priority in our lives through our service to Him and others. Clear as mud? Probably. But at least it is something to think about!

Love to Shop, Hate Shopping

My life seems so full of contradictions some times. For example. I have never considered myself a shopper. Maybe it's because I never have any 'blow money' to go shopping with, and if I do have extra money, I usually end up spending it on someone else, or for the house, just about anything but for myself. Well, maybe to be more specific, I love to shop, I just hate shopping.

What's the difference, you may ask? Well, shopping, for me, has a connotation of leisure time and enjoyment, hours perusing racks of clothes, looking for things that I like but don't really need. When I shop, however, it is with a purpose in mind (and usually a list!). The reason, dear friends, is because I am an impulse buyer. And I learned a long time ago how bad that was for my pocketbook. So I when I go shopping (i.e., going along with someone else to enjoy someone's company), and I see something I like, I ask myself if this item is something that I really need, and 99% of the time, the answer is NOPE! And unless it is an unbelievable good deal on something I have been thinking about buying, or if it is a somewhat good deal offered somewhere I'm not likely to revisit any time soon, I decide to give it the 24 hour test...if after 24 hours I still want it, then I go back and buy it. It doesn't matter if it is a cute pair of skidders at the mall or a new brand of organic chips at the grocery store. If it isn't on my list, I don't get it.

I am trying to apply this to other aspects of my life, too. I am part of a really great women's bible study group at our church on Wednesday nights. We have been talking about how to be a good friend. Normally I try to avoid confrontation like the plague, and one of my spiritual strengths is forgiveness. But I am also apt to let a word or gesture fester inside until I am about ready to burst with frustration/anger. So I have decided to put my shopping rules into play in my relationships. If a friend or even acquaintance says something that bothers me, I will do what I normally do and let it go for a period of time (maybe a few days up to a week). If at the end of that time it still bothers me, I will address the situation, as to not let things build up and fester. I'll let you know how this experiment works, and if any of you sweet friends out there are at the receiving end, just know that it's because I value our friendship and I would hope you would do the same for me!

Fast (and quick!) update

Well, the second week of my Lenten fast is almost over. At times I've wondered at my sanity. But beginning yesterday, I am starting to feel okay with it. I mean, really okay. I had a rough patch a few days ago. I must have been going through caffeine withdrawal or something. I was in a really foul mood (sorry Mike!). The lack of caffeine and sugar has made me really tired, but finally, today, I think my body is adjusting. I actually feel good, physically and mentally. It is 4:45pm and I don't feel like I need a nap! And most amazingly, I wasn't starving during my classes today (I usually don't eat lunch until around 2:30 on the days I have class). So starting tomorrow, I am going to try and reorganize my alone time. At night, I will be studying (which I have dropped the ball on lately), and in the morning I will be waking up early to start my day right with God. So, the fast continues.  How is your Lent progressing?

No Place Like Home

Home. There are so many images that come to mind with that word. Having just come off vacation, the immediate words in my head are, safety, normalcy, rest, and peace (of course, disaster area follows quickly behind thanks to my two little whirlwinds).

I was blessed with a great home life growing up. Sure, there was some teenage angst involved, but just below the surface, I always knew how good I had it. My parents did that for me. We had a very liberal upbringing (which is another story). Not only were we encouraged to be open minded, but always knew that no matter what, we always had place to call home. My grandmother fed whole generations at her kitchen table; not only her immediate family, but all the extended family that lived near by, AND all of their friends who just happened to show up around dinner time. Even if she didn't like you, she would have given her last dollar if you needed it. Those were my role models, and I was very blessed.

"So what's your point?", you may ask. Well, as it happens to everyone, my home changed once I graduated from high school and went to college. I never really considered my little dorm room to be 'home', but after my freshman year, I bought a house that became 'home' to all of my friends from high school who attended the same university. We would even have 'family' dinners every week or two.

Fast forward a few years and one marriage certificate later. Mike and I lived in a tiny little two room apartment while he finished his last year of seminary. Unless you've experience married student housing for yourself, it's hard to describe. We lived on so little, but everyone else was in the same boat. I won't go so far as to say we didn't notice we were broke college students, but living with a dozen other couples in the same situation made everything bearable. And it felt like home.

The subject of 'home' is a touchy one amongst clergy families. The reason is because most of us don't own the home we live in. In case you are new to the workings of the Methodist Church, allow me to enlighten you. As a full time ordained elder, any United Methodist Church is required to provide either housing or a housing allowance to each position they offer (whether it is one pastor, or a senior and associate pastor, etc.). Most churches provide parsonages, although some are now providing allowances. There are certain minimum standards that a parsonage for a full elder is required to have, but otherwise, parsonages differ greatly. Every time a clergy family moves, they experience a mixture of anticipation and trepidation over what their next home will be like. In the 'olden days', the parsonage was FULLY furnished, including everything down to the linens, silverware, and pictures on the wall. These days, with more and more pastors coming to ordination as a second career, married to people who also led their own lives before ministry, mostly its just the furniture that is provided. Depending on which church a pastor is assigned, the parsonage could be considered the private home of the clergy family, or the public property of the church, with parsonage committees having their own keys and making unannounced visits whenever they feel like popping by. In the back of our minds, we are always conscious of living in a house that doesn't belong to us, using furniture that has been used and will be used by others. I'm not saying it is a bad thing (at least for us it hasn't been). But I thank God every day that we have only been in churches with wonderful people who aren't so controlling as to make sure that each painting stays where it has been for the past fifty years (trust me, it happens!).

So for clergy families, and all the other families who move frequently for whatever reason, 'home' must mean more than just a house. As I think about when my parents used to say "you'll always have a home with us", maybe they weren't talking about just a house. Maybe they were talking about something more special. And maybe when God calls us home, it isn't just a place either.

Below is a song very close to my heart about what 'home' really is. I hope you'll watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zI3lXSOt3c

Beauty From Ashes

Today marks the first day of my favorite time of year. For most people, Ash Wednesday is rather depressing after the gaiety of Christmas and the Mardi Gras season. But being the closet introvert that I am, I see rest, relaxation, and reflection, as well as hope that dwells in the deepest core of the most heinous act mankind has ever committed. Most people view the season of Lent in a self sacrificing, torturous kind of way. You hear people grumbling about giving up this and that, but what is the point of giving something up just for the sake of doing it? Shouldn't it mean something? In the general scheme of things, the definition of sacrifice varies from person to person. So when we talk about giving up something for Lent, it should be something intensely personal. And no, it isn't necessary to publicize our decision. Ultimately it rests between us and God, anyway. Besides ourselves, God is the only one who knows if we are successful in our sacrifice, and what our hearts are like while we are making this journey.

For myself, in a previous post I had rambled about doing a Daniel Fast. Well, I thought about it and admitted to myself that it most likely wasn't going to happen. Even though fasting is not the same as dieting, I have been on enough diets to know my limitations where food is concerned. What I sacrifice should affect my life, yes, but it also shouldn't affect anyone else's, and if I were to do the Daniel Fast right now, it would definitely affect my family for the worst. I'm not saying I will never do this fast, but under current circumstances a drastic change such as this is not the best thing for my family. So I have decided to go the 'tame' route and fast from meat and refined sugar. This is still quite a sacrifice, especially as I think of how frequently I consume these products! Hopefully God will use my sacrifice to help me focus on satisfying my soul instead of satisfying my craving for a filet mignon. And being inspired by Pastor Robert at the Ash Wednesday service tonight, I will be sacrificing something else...but that is between me and God. Let this be a time of healing, reflection, and letting go in preparation for the darkest AND brightest time of our Christian year. God bless you and keep you.

One Wrong Turn

Have you ever been driving, while allowing your mind to wander, and suddenly realized that you have no idea where you are or how you got there? That happened to me several times today. A lot has been going on in the Casa de Edmondson, and that topped off with school really had me in a tizzy today. 

I left for school and was headed to the WalMart in Calera. TWICE I found myself slightly panicky because I didn't know if I had missed a turn or not. Then, on the way back, I made a wrong turn as I was coming into town and found myself at the City Park. And do you know what? It was totally a God thing. It was so green and peaceful, that I parked my car and sat for a moment, and contemplated God's creation. 

Now, if you don't know already, I have a degree in Horticulture/Landscape Design. So I am literally one of these people who likes to smell the proverbial roses. But I realized today that I haven't been doing that lately. This is my favorite time of year, when most of my favorite plants are in bloom...tulips, daffodils, redbuds, chinese fringe, cherry trees, tulip magnolias, and yes even those overused Bradford pears. And I have hardly spared a glance. So tonight, I am thanking God for that one wrong turn that gave me back some perspective about my life and where it is heading, and about how I need to slow down every once in a while. So tomorrow when my kids want to play in the dirt and pick berries off bushes and throw them back, I'm going to let them. And I'll probably join them!

Give it Up!

My life has been sooo crazy lately. I am anxiously awaiting word from Samford University Pharmacy School about an interview, I had a huge organic chemistry test today, the kids have been sick and out of school for the past week and a half, and I am now officially exhausted. Calgon take me away!

As I was driving home from school, I was thinking about my crazy life, and I have decided I need to take a step back and refocus. And I realized that right now is an awesome time to do it! March 9th is Ash Wednesday. For those of you who don't know what that is, it marks the first day of the Lenten season. For those of you who don't know what THAT means, check out this website:

http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/articles/lent101.asp

Lent is a time when we consciously turn our focus towards our relationship with God. Usually by abstaining from something we love and instead using that energy to focus on our faith. In the past, I have given up  many things for Lent, including soft drinks and meat. Other years I have added something like an extra bible study. Well, I feel like this year calls for something drastic. I have decided to do the Daniel Fast. The first time I heard about this was when I was studying the book of Daniel through Beth Moore. Her bible study students are encouraged to follow this diet during the weeks they go through her book. However, I was unable to participate fully because I was pregnant at the time (I was already on a modified version by my doctor, though!). I haven't decided if I am going to go all the way this time or not. I can already see tough times ahead considering I already feel like a short order cook for my family. But I really think this will not only help me with my faith, but with my overall health as well. Here is a link to the book. I'll keep you posted about my decision on how deep to go with it. Cheers!

Our Daily Bread

I am looking at our dining table as I write this, wondering where it all went wrong. As opposed to most modern families, we use our formal dining room. A lot. Only, we don't use it as a place to eat. Yes, we do have a eat in kitchen area, but we decided shortly before having our daughter that we needed that space for toys. Our kids' rooms are a little small (or our kids have too much stuff, take your pick), and we have one big family room for the overflow. I LOVE our formal dining room suite, and our kitchen furniture was kind of worn, so we decided to store the kitchen table and chairs. (I promise I am getting to the point!).

The only problem is that our formal dining room isn't really a room, it is just an offshoot of our family room, and actually, it's the first thing you encounter when you walk through our front door. Our hall table quickly filled to overflowing, so our dining room table is the catchall. It currently contains items like my computer, the tray from our daughter's high chair, a home made give thanks candle made out of beans, toddler crayons, mail/magazines, about 130 baby shower invitations (stuffed but not stamped), a phone book, a hanger, a large binder of sheet music, I could go on....

When we got married, I had such plans for keeping family meal sacred. I kept china and crystal on the table (because what's the point in having it if you aren't going to use it?). Realistically speaking, with Mike's pastoral schedule, we sat down to eat a home cooked dinner around four nights a week, but hey, it was quality time! Even the two years we spent in our apartment, where the table was two feet from the open galley kitchen entry, we had meals at our little four seater table. Moving into this place after that was like moving to a palace. So why has the peripheral aspects of our life supplanted the most important parts? Because I have let them! Slowly, sneakily, aided and abetted by a busy life, copious amounts of mail, and two very active kids, my dining room table- the hub of our household- has become a mountain of insignificance. As I was sitting in Sunday school today listening to the discussion on communion and the history and meaning of breaking bread together, I realized that today is the day that I TAKE BACK MY TABLE! And begin using it as God intended...as a way to strengthen one of the most important aspects of my life.

Now, I also realized today that realistically speaking, family dinners are rarely going to happen. We are all going separate directions at any given time. So what to do? Well, who says we can only sit down together for dinner? We are all usually here for breakfast! And even though Mike doesn't usually eat breakfast, he can sit with us, visit, and drink a mini coke :). For this I am willing to sacrifice getting up a little early so that I can have the kids dressed and ready for breakfast. Who knows, maybe we won't be so late for school either! I know this doesn't sound like a huge lifestyle change, but this may be a little think that can make a big difference. Try looking for some life changing little thing to tweak in your life!

Age Matters

Today, I feel old. Normally, my age doesn't bother me. But today I was sitting around with one of the girls in my chemistry class, talking about our mutual love of books. Somehow we got on the topic of high schools and she asked me when I graduated. I avoided the question. Eventually, I felt guilty about being rude and I told her I graduated in 1995. She said wow, I was born in 1991. YIKES!!! According to the teen mom pop culture right now, I could be her mom.

So I've been reflecting on age today. I always wanted to be older. I was born with what some people call an "old soul". Quiet, introspective, with wisdom beyond my years (at least for some things :). Added to that the fact that my husband is desperate to turn forty so he won't be considered a young whippersnapper preacher anymore (someone once told him a 'real' preacher was 50 with gray hair and a pot belly). I am blessed with a baby face that makes me look younger, so much so that when Mike and I got engaged when I was 24, his extended family asked if I was legal yet. Heh heh. Most of the people I have become friends with since we've been in ministry have been older than me by a couple of years. My friend Rica threw me a "welcome to adulthood" party when I turned thirty. It was great.

So why do I feel old today? I don't feel physically bad. I have stress levels, like everyone else, but as an adult I have learned how to handle stress and prioritize my schedule (kids tend to force this learning curve quickly). I know it will get a lot worse once my kids get older and asking about 'the good old days'. But you know, I'm kind of looking forward to it. I remember posing those same questions to my parents and grandparents. And you know what, it wasn't pity I felt for them. I was fascinated. When people in older generations reflect on how different their childhood was, sure there are some things that have improved over time, but with lack of technology came a slower pace, more time to invest in relationships, a greater reliance on someone other than ourselves. And its only going to get worse from here. Today is our "good old days". So let's appreciate them for what they are and make the best of them. Spend time with family and friends, and God. Age gracefully, and have nothing to regret at the winter of our lives.

Give It Back

What is a "humanitarian?" According to Wikipedia, "In its most general form, humanitarianism is an ethic of kindness, benevolence and sympathy extended universally and impartially to all human beings." The first time someone called me this, it was not really meant kindly, and honestly, I was very surprised. My image of what that meant at the time was either someone who had a lot of money and spent their whole life devoted to donating to various charities, or someone who sacrificed their lives to the cause of, for instance, cruelty to animals.   


However, if you go by the Wiki definition, aren't we all like this? I'm sure there are some very selfish people out there who don't give back, but I don' t know anyone like that. Even people you may not automatically think about may surprise you if you got to know them better. Sometimes I feel like I stretch myself too thin, but when I think of all the needs out there, I can't help myself. I am a very empathetic person. I try to hide it. The major personal conflict in my life is my inner war between my empathy and my self preservation. If you don't know the difference between empathy and sympathy, look it up and let that be your tidbit of knowledge for the day. Anyway, back to the topic at hand...


I am always looking for ways to give back. I am not a grand gesture kind of person. Some people, like our inspirational friends Ben and Cassidy Nelson, give so much and with such enthusiasm, that it is a joy to behold. Being the more private person myself, I look for passive ways. Such as being an organ donor. Such a little thing, just a check mark on your driver's license. Or donating blood. Even if you hardly ever donate, you will be on file if they need you. Which brings me to my most recent action. My childhood best friend has a son, Clay, who has been diagnosed with aplastic anemia. This will require a bone marrow transplant, of which his sister is not a match. I know the chances that I will be a match are slim to none, but I will never know if I don't get registered. There aren't even any needles required to be tested, just a swab of your cheek. And even if I'm not a match for Clay, I pray that I'll be a match for someone. How humbled and honored I would be if I could do that for someone. I encourage everyone to find some little way to give back or pay it forward. In time, we will all need to rely on others. That inevitability is why we were created to live in community with one another. Take five minutes and go to www.marrow.org and register to have a swab kit sent to your house. It doesn't cost anything, and could mean the world to someone else.


Blessings